I’m so sorry that I have treated you both so terribly these past few years during my travels. What can I say, I’m selfish. I focus more on putting you guys in shoes that match my outfit than my surroundings. I know you guys get jealous when you see other feet comfortably resting in Tevas or Chacos but I just can’t bring myself to do it. You have to understand, these cozy shoes are just the first step in to falling down the black hole which includes a fanny pack, an America Frick Yeah shirt and screaming at foreign people loudly because it will make them understand you better. Also, the human you’re attached to is short and can’t let the world know that she has been deceiving them all this time.
Here is a list of events I am sorry for:
- I’m sorry for hiking Haleakalā in Maui wearing a pair of strappy sandals. It was rough but we made it through.
- I’m sorry for hiking the Grand Canyon in Birkenstocks. I’m sure if we fell in that day news outlets would have said we deserved it.
- I’m sorry for walking across The Columbia Icefields in wedges. This was the day that I realized that I probably should have worn something with traction. We live and we learn (or we don’t).
- I’m sorry for climbing The Towers of Bologna in booties. To be fair, I was tricked into doing this activity by people that know about my hatred of unnecessary stairs (@Adriana @Garrett).
- I’m sorry for falling off the curb in New York and breaking you left foot. I am even more sorry that I ignored your cries for help for 3 months.
- I’m sorry I wore those Sam Edelman heels every day for five months straight in Rome. I did it to prove myself that no cobblestones could get in my way even though I fell almost daily.
- I’m sorry for wearing those same pair of Sam Edelman boots when trekking around London. I didn’t anticipate walking 20 miles in one day and I wanted to look good for Mamma Mia.
- I’m sorry for wearing stilettos on New Year’s for dinner at Meritage. I didn’t think the thick Minnesota ice would be an issue.
- I’m sorry for thinking that it was a great idea to break new shoes in while walking around in Madrid. To be fair again, my other pair was covered in dog shit.
In conclusion, I understand that I have been awful to you guys. You are the reason I am able to get around and see all these places but until they make a tempur pedic wedge, you’ll have to suffer. Maybe I should treat you to a bit more TLC once in awhile, you did seem embarrassed when my friend commented on how ugly you looked.
You have time to rest until our next adventure but please be prepared.